I don't feel like writing a ton on it at the moment, but it's a gorgeous game, I've played it through six or seven times and gotten okay at the minigame "mercenaries".
Gorgeous Hair and I have plans to play a bit of co-op, which I'm looking forward to.
3 stars
Monday, March 30, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Street Fighter 4
I had a dream last night where I'd made an awesome new friend. He only had one problem: he constantly pooped his pants. Being in his company was being in his poopy pants' company, and it was ruining an otherwise awesome time. Eventually I had to man up in my dream and ask him about the issue.
"What, you mean Seth?" was his response.
He'd named his unfortunate affliction "Seth", and so it's fitting that Capcom decided to name their instance of pants crapping amidst otherwise good times "Seth" as well. Seth is the last boss in Street Fighter 4 and he sucks. I didn't quite believe it when everyone cried "cheap!". After spending half an hour fighting Seth with Gen on "Easiest" difficulty I fully understood.
Gorgeous Hair and I unlocked everyone. It was some of the least fun I've ever had with a video game. I have zero desire to play the game anymore.
2 stars
"What, you mean Seth?" was his response.
He'd named his unfortunate affliction "Seth", and so it's fitting that Capcom decided to name their instance of pants crapping amidst otherwise good times "Seth" as well. Seth is the last boss in Street Fighter 4 and he sucks. I didn't quite believe it when everyone cried "cheap!". After spending half an hour fighting Seth with Gen on "Easiest" difficulty I fully understood.
Gorgeous Hair and I unlocked everyone. It was some of the least fun I've ever had with a video game. I have zero desire to play the game anymore.
2 stars
Monday, February 23, 2009
So I've been playing EDF again
My friend Matt got a new XBL name. The best feature of this is that you lose all your old saves. Awesome.
So he's been going through EDF again, and I've been helping him. The game is just fantastic. We've been farming for weapons on Level 52 "Inferno" on the "Inferno" difficulty. Confusing, yes. Inferno Inferno. We're barely strong enough to do it, but one out of every two or three times we succeed in beating the level. It's much more fun than hunting for the Lysander Z on level 46, which gets rather boring.
What amazes me about the game is how you can have everything under complete control, yet things can still go to hell in second if you're not constantly on top of things.
So in this one case, thank you Xbox, for deleting my friend's saves.
still, as always, 4 stars.
So he's been going through EDF again, and I've been helping him. The game is just fantastic. We've been farming for weapons on Level 52 "Inferno" on the "Inferno" difficulty. Confusing, yes. Inferno Inferno. We're barely strong enough to do it, but one out of every two or three times we succeed in beating the level. It's much more fun than hunting for the Lysander Z on level 46, which gets rather boring.
What amazes me about the game is how you can have everything under complete control, yet things can still go to hell in second if you're not constantly on top of things.
So in this one case, thank you Xbox, for deleting my friend's saves.
still, as always, 4 stars.
DLC pricing and unlockables
Street Fighter 4 is (or will be?) selling costume packs for around a buck per character. While I appreciate the option to unlock new costumes, paying for things that a game used to give out for free is utter nonsense.
In Dead or Alive 1 through 3 you have to play through the game again and again on higher and higher difficulties to unlock different costumes for characters. In Tekken 5 you play through the game to earn game-money which you can use to spend on unlockable costumes. In Virtua Fighter items are unlocked in a somewhat similar manner, with some being paid for and others being won via matches.
I like the old system. I don't want to be forced to pay for new content. This is especially true for fighting games where the gameplay is rather thin outside of having friends over. Sure there's online play, but I've never found it terribly satisfying. Unlocking goofy hats is pretty much my only reason to play 1p fighters. I'm good enough at the ones I feel like getting good at, and playing the computer's never been very much help in that regard anyway.
My only problem with this old system is that it gets to be a huge pain. Beating DOA 3 on some super high difficulty is next to impossible for me, and while I can fight all day in Tekken 5, the money you earn is middling at best. I get bored of unlocking stuff. At that point, I become completely okay with paying real, actual cash to have all the costumes and customizations unlocked in my game. My time becomes worth more than my money.
What I'd like to see is a hybrid of the two systems. Allow me, should I so choose, to unlock everything without paying money. Let me slog through as much of the game as I want. When I get bored of that however, let me pay to unlock everything.
This would be a great system for every game. I don't have the patience anymore to unlock everything in most games anymore, but I would like to feel like I'm purchasing a whole game. Adding $5 downloads onto a game shortly after it comes out only serves to give the impression of nickel-and-diming the consumer.
"Here's your 'Street Fighter 4 Basic' game, please pay another Twenty Bucks to get 'Street Fighter 4 Complete'."
I think most people will still end up paying for DLC, but no one would feel taken advantage of. I know if I could pay another $5 or $10 to unlock all the things I haven't in my copy of Tekken 5:DR, I would do that. I wouldn't have done that the day I bought the game, but now I've had it long enough that spending more money on it isn't offensive to me, and I just don't have the desire to fight enough matches to unlock all the hairstyles for the characters I don't play.
In Dead or Alive 1 through 3 you have to play through the game again and again on higher and higher difficulties to unlock different costumes for characters. In Tekken 5 you play through the game to earn game-money which you can use to spend on unlockable costumes. In Virtua Fighter items are unlocked in a somewhat similar manner, with some being paid for and others being won via matches.
I like the old system. I don't want to be forced to pay for new content. This is especially true for fighting games where the gameplay is rather thin outside of having friends over. Sure there's online play, but I've never found it terribly satisfying. Unlocking goofy hats is pretty much my only reason to play 1p fighters. I'm good enough at the ones I feel like getting good at, and playing the computer's never been very much help in that regard anyway.
My only problem with this old system is that it gets to be a huge pain. Beating DOA 3 on some super high difficulty is next to impossible for me, and while I can fight all day in Tekken 5, the money you earn is middling at best. I get bored of unlocking stuff. At that point, I become completely okay with paying real, actual cash to have all the costumes and customizations unlocked in my game. My time becomes worth more than my money.
What I'd like to see is a hybrid of the two systems. Allow me, should I so choose, to unlock everything without paying money. Let me slog through as much of the game as I want. When I get bored of that however, let me pay to unlock everything.
This would be a great system for every game. I don't have the patience anymore to unlock everything in most games anymore, but I would like to feel like I'm purchasing a whole game. Adding $5 downloads onto a game shortly after it comes out only serves to give the impression of nickel-and-diming the consumer.
"Here's your 'Street Fighter 4 Basic' game, please pay another Twenty Bucks to get 'Street Fighter 4 Complete'."
I think most people will still end up paying for DLC, but no one would feel taken advantage of. I know if I could pay another $5 or $10 to unlock all the things I haven't in my copy of Tekken 5:DR, I would do that. I wouldn't have done that the day I bought the game, but now I've had it long enough that spending more money on it isn't offensive to me, and I just don't have the desire to fight enough matches to unlock all the hairstyles for the characters I don't play.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Earth Defense Force 2017 is still the best game on the market
seriously.
find a copy. You should probably find a friend too, cos like Contra, it's playable as a 1p game, but it's magical as a 2p game.
find a copy. You should probably find a friend too, cos like Contra, it's playable as a 1p game, but it's magical as a 2p game.
Monday, January 5, 2009
PS3 Home
A few years back I was at a shooting range. My friend asked if they had the Smith and Wesson .50 caliber.
"That gun's the answer to a question nobody asked." came the reply.
To this day, I love that phrase.
And so we have Playstation's Home.
I didn't get much past creating my "avatar". I tried to create my wife but it became apparent that creating attractive women wasn't in the cards and semi-attractive zombie women's not really my thing, so I switched gears to make myself. I have enough skill and confidence to make good caricatures of myself: harsh but amusing. Nonetheless, I could only manage the bluntest caveman version of myself.
Mostly, Home's character creator is lacking foreheads, or tops of heads specifically. Every hairstyle I tried on both virtual me and virtual wife failed moreso because of the decidedly cro-magnon lack of upper head than because of the wrinkles, dead eyes or awful style choices. We looked too cavman, and this coming from a man who thinks he looks more caveman than the average person.
I effectively gave up on creating me, and went out to explore this amazing new world. I appeared in a highrise apartment on the coast of a digital Saint Tropez. Running out to my porch, excited to jump off the edge and explore I found there was no jump button. My next observation was that my male avatar runs like a beaten child--very compactly.
Run animations are a big thing for me, and I won't get too into it here, but when a person is running they should look two things in videogame land:
1. Healthy
2. Their sex
Women and men run differently and it would behoove many a game maker to notice and master the differences. But anyway, I take my weak running man who can't jump the railing to the front door.
I get a message that to walk out of my apartment I'll have to download an additional 22 megs of whatever.
No thanks.
That's the end of my Home experience.
It's not a game, so doesn't technically merit a rating, but it's terrible enough that I'll give it one.
1 star
edit: I just re-read Gorgeous Hair's review. Haha.
"That gun's the answer to a question nobody asked." came the reply.
To this day, I love that phrase.
And so we have Playstation's Home.
I didn't get much past creating my "avatar". I tried to create my wife but it became apparent that creating attractive women wasn't in the cards and semi-attractive zombie women's not really my thing, so I switched gears to make myself. I have enough skill and confidence to make good caricatures of myself: harsh but amusing. Nonetheless, I could only manage the bluntest caveman version of myself.
Mostly, Home's character creator is lacking foreheads, or tops of heads specifically. Every hairstyle I tried on both virtual me and virtual wife failed moreso because of the decidedly cro-magnon lack of upper head than because of the wrinkles, dead eyes or awful style choices. We looked too cavman, and this coming from a man who thinks he looks more caveman than the average person.
I effectively gave up on creating me, and went out to explore this amazing new world. I appeared in a highrise apartment on the coast of a digital Saint Tropez. Running out to my porch, excited to jump off the edge and explore I found there was no jump button. My next observation was that my male avatar runs like a beaten child--very compactly.
Run animations are a big thing for me, and I won't get too into it here, but when a person is running they should look two things in videogame land:
1. Healthy
2. Their sex
Women and men run differently and it would behoove many a game maker to notice and master the differences. But anyway, I take my weak running man who can't jump the railing to the front door.
I get a message that to walk out of my apartment I'll have to download an additional 22 megs of whatever.
No thanks.
That's the end of my Home experience.
It's not a game, so doesn't technically merit a rating, but it's terrible enough that I'll give it one.
1 star
edit: I just re-read Gorgeous Hair's review. Haha.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Gorgeous Hair's review of Playstation's HOME
im in this room
and i have some couches
and there's nothing else in it
so i throw my couches around
but it's not fun
so i go out on my balcony
and i can't jump off it
so i go out the room, and it says loading lobby
so i quit
and will never go back in a gain
i want to say "dear playstation home, do you realize you made crap ?"
im in this room
and i have some couches
and there's nothing else in it
so i throw my couches around
but it's not fun
so i go out on my balcony
and i can't jump off it
so i go out the room, and it says loading lobby
so i quit
and will never go back in a gain
i want to say "dear playstation home, do you realize you made crap ?"
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