Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy 7 and Chrono Cross

All three of these games are easy definitions of 4 star games, however Final Fantasy 7 ruined Chrono Cross for me and likely many others.

In Chrono Trigger you follow a group of heroes through the game, and after you beat it, you play through again with all your levels and gear. This is brilliant and was huge for the time. You can also fight the last guy at almost any time in the game. This opens up something like 10 endings depending on what you have and haven't accomplished in the game.

So I played through Chrono Trigger many times, and I love it to this day.

Final Fantasy 7 was the first major RPG to use the crutch of prerendered cutscenes. Don't get me wrong, the reason I bought a PS1 at all was because I saw one of these and it was so far beyond what I was accustomed to in games like Final Fantasy 6 and Chrono Trigger that I knew I had to own it. But they are a crutch and have done a great disservice to games in general and RPGs specifically.

I had always been fine with the bitmapped characters of the 16 bit era. I was moved by the stories, compelled to keep playing. But not in the 32 bit era. Now I needed a 10 minute plus full CGI ending to be satisfied. And if all the ads for these games are any indication, so did the rest of you.

I could also complain about the complete interchangeability of the characters, and the fact that all the summons with no exceptions were just large "damage all" attacks, but it's really about how the CG cutscenes set a new standard.

So late in the PS1 lifespan, we get Chrono Cross, a brilliant almost non-sequel to Trigger. something like 40 characters (all with different attacks and skills!) and a myriad of different endings.

Problem was, other than the stock CG piece that you got with every ending, it was all in game graphics. Star Ocean 2 had the same issue. Game graphics for the ending. Psssh.

So I have to say it was all a little ruined for me.

A long time ago I told my dad I wanted Friendly's for dinner. I was being driven home from the after school program at the YMCA. I still remember the intersection we were at. He said to me "If I had never taken you there, you wouldn't want to go." He didn't say it angrily or spiteful, just pointing out that fact. My mind was blown. He was right, but shit!

I don't know if Final Fantasy 13 is going to finally fix the issue. It's supposed to be all in game, which I would like, and it's being produced by the guy who directed Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy 7, so who knows. Besides, that game's not due till at least 2010.

Chrono Trigger - 4 stars
Final Fantasy 7 - 4 stars
Chrono Cross - 4 stars

Earth Defense Force 2017 (review 2)

I have a hard time talking about things I enjoy. It seems to be at least somewhat of a societal problem, as most blogs that are fun to read are fun because the writers hate whatever it is they are writing about.

for example, What Would Tyler Durden Do? is funny (most of the time anyway) cos he hates everything he writes about.

in contrast, the exemplary Boing Boing isn't. There may be funny things in the posts, but the writing itself is never terribly so.

Humorously writing about that which you love or enjoy is hard. At least unless you are Andrew W.K. in which case it's easy and brilliant.

So EDF, budget title for the Xbox 360. Best game on the system and the one which to this day I can still pick up and enjoy playing. It's a simple enough game. Giant robots and bugs are attacking and your job is to kill every non human thing on the map. Then you do it again.

The variety of levels is amazing. When Gorgeous Hair, Scummy and I were working through Inferno for the first time we had to heavily strategize, which is impressive because they only strategy is what weapons to carry, where to go, and what to shoot first.

When you're attempts at playing Patton pay off it's huge. A hi-5 scenario.

Even without that, the game is loads of fun. We constantly compare it to Contra, which I think is reasonably apt. Running and gunning. That's it. In a time when GTA is trying to be everything to everyone, EDF wants to be about shooting shit. Shooting the holy hell out of it, over and over and over.

One of the developers of Halo said it was about making a fun 45 seconds and doing it over and over again. EDF nails it in a way Halo 3 can only visualize in dreams.

EDF wants to challenge you to emerge from a shower of green bug blood or inferno of exploding robots. It wants you to be a badass space marine and that's it.

This review isn't funny, and I know pretty well that I'll never be able to explain why I think this, above all things, is gaming perfection, but I felt it was necessary to pop back in and tell you to try it out. Play it w/ a buddy. Beat 10 levels. And then, if you want, stop.

Good luck with that, stopping.

4 stars

GTA 4 - hour 3

Started playing again. No one called with any missions. Eventually I got my fat cousin to come with me to a titty bar that was super far away. After I got a lap dance, the dancer ran away and I had to beat up two bouncers, probably cos I had no money when I went in.

If this game doesn't start giving me better weapons and actual missions soon, i'm gonna stop playing. I heard about this "friend" making system, but right now all it feels like is a way to replace the errand running to get your armor and weapons back before each mission. I'm bored shitless. My Fiancee's already making fun of how little i've played it.

1 star.

Crash Team Racing

Go Kart games, specifically Mario Kart, are awesome. Why then, does the team over at Naughty Dog, completely own every Kart game prior and since? This was the last Crash game ND made, and their new series Jak and Uncharted aren't conducive to a kart game, so i think the dream of getting a kart game that's better than this is gone.

And yeah, I said it: this game is better than every Mario Kart. Better powerslide system, rewards for getting sick air, more shortcuts and track variety. Better characters too. While the nintendo pantheon is legendary, none of the characters has ever had a personality and all attempts to give them some are cursory. Crash skirts the "animation w/ 'tude" phenomenon (That begat Sonic, Bubsy, the Cool Spot and too many others) but comes off with enough well placed humor that I don't imagine the creators in goatees and year-round shorts.

So yeah, fun to play, amazing tracks, complete win. And I bought my most recenty copy of it for under $10. Why is this not on the PSN?

4 stars

Crackdown

From the creator of the GTA series comes this apology for everything Grand Theft Auto has never become. Good battling, well designed, usable levels and an upgrade system that keeps you working at all your skills. Instead of the world getting bigger making getting around more cumbersome, your ability to run, swim and drive through it increases so getting from point A to B is never much of a problem. Also love the weapon collection system.

I'm pissed the sequel never got asked for, but glad they're working on APB, which should be awesome.

The only complaints I have about this game are that the bosses don't offer much variety other than the difficulty getting to them, and once you've got your skills maxed out, the game starts to lose it's carbonation. Dicking around in the world is super fun, but once I got my skills up I played it for about two more hours and haven't played since.

3 stars.

Grand Theft Auto 4 - 1st 2 hours

While i post this, Gorgeous Hair's likely online having a blast with it. I have not been online. What I can tell you is that everything old is new again. Restarting missions is easier. So good for that. I haven't got a gun yet, so I can't comment.

What sucks so far:
- terrible frame rate. TERRIBLE
- Nico walks comedically slow. It might be realistic, but after playing Crackdown, I'm over it.
- Motion capture and animation straight out of Grand Theft Auto 3, which even back then wasn't anything special.
- While some of the humor's good, most of it's straight out of the 8th grade.

What doesn't:
- Brooklyn or wherever I am is nicely done. Feels both large enough and small enough and has a nice amount of variety.


2 stars

more later