Bad
- nanomachines
- 2 codec channels, neither as interesting as calling up Para-Medic and asking about eating stuff.
- can only befriend rebels, has little outcome on the game
- length of cutscenes. They're good, but too long.
- Drebin calling you up to tell you why each boss was so crazy
- general depth of the non-Liquid villians (which is to say nonexistent)
- installs for every level, on every playthrough.
Good
- wraps up the whole story, and explains many previously stupid aspects of it well
- lots of guns = lots of funs
- gameplay isn't revolutionary, but it's good
- all four B and B boss battles are awesome and the most varied of any MGS game
- great variations on sneaking in levels 2 and 3
- one amazing on-rails sequence
- the graphics are insanely good
- the sound is insanely good
- the animations are insanely good
so definitely buy it, definitely play it, but it's got some issues.
3 stars
Monday, June 16, 2008
Metal Gear Solid 4 (short version)
What if I told you that all the loose ends of the Metal Gear story could be wrapped up, but to do it you'd have to watch fifteen twenty-minute powerpoint presentations on "nanomachines"?
3 stars.
3 stars.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Metal Gear Solid 4
To be perfectly frank, not much is new. The touted ability to get on one side of a battle is just that, one-sided. You can't ever make the Private Military Companyies like you, so it's more a gimmick that's in play for two levels and is promptly forgotten.
My biggest issue is with the story. Metal Gear 2 had a terrible story for a myriad of reasons, but primarily because the story is told through phone conversations and powerpoint presentations. For all the hype about Kojima being a filmmaker, he'd blown it on the editorial front. You play a level, see a cutscene and then Otacon or Snake or someone gets you on the phone to explain why you can't pick up the dead guy's gun. And it takes him 10 minutes to explain it. Metal Gear 2 is more someone reading a book at you than a visual story. Cut just the cutscenes together and you'd have zero idea what that game was about.
Metal Gear 3 made up for it. Kojima must have heard the criticism, cos the cutscenes told the story. They were much better directed and the story itself was considerably tighter. It didn't center around the rather mediocre explanation for why you can't pick up everyone's guns (nanomachines).
And this is where Metal Gear 4's story falls apart. It's focused on a NES gameplay element. Only now there's ton's of PMCs and they (and the full US military) are staffed entirely by nanomachine enhanced humans with nanomachine tagged guns. Even their fucking battleships are nanoed up.
This all serves the story fine, but it sucks.
It sucks because by coming back to the present day, Kojima has gone back to excessively long dialoge sequences and tons of yammering about nanomachines and artificial intelligence.
I'm pissed because Metal Gear 3 was so good, and so on message. It's depictions of the arms race, of the concept of patriotism and the motivations for the villain of the original Metal Gear were all excellently told. MGS4 has some great points about private militaries, but they get lost in Liquid Ocelot's arbitrary goals and his obsession with a fucking server.
One thing the game does phenomenally is Old Snake. He's old, he's given up on life and just wants to get through this last mission. It's great to see and if I focus on it over the nanomachine bull I feel very positively about the game.
Raiden as well, is very interesting this time out. Meryl's okay and the Johnny guy I could do without completely, though it is nice to see how they tie him in to the whole story. The other two guys in Rat Patrol are forgetable, which is pretty sad when you think about how cool Foxhound and Cobra Unit were. Drebin is decent, his monkey's totally awesome. The detail in the character animations for everyone is dead nuts and shames all other games out there. The game does a lot of things well.
But I can't help but imagine what the game could have been if Kojima had decided to focus less on nanomachines and AI and more on actual people (who are not Old Snake).
3 stars.
My biggest issue is with the story. Metal Gear 2 had a terrible story for a myriad of reasons, but primarily because the story is told through phone conversations and powerpoint presentations. For all the hype about Kojima being a filmmaker, he'd blown it on the editorial front. You play a level, see a cutscene and then Otacon or Snake or someone gets you on the phone to explain why you can't pick up the dead guy's gun. And it takes him 10 minutes to explain it. Metal Gear 2 is more someone reading a book at you than a visual story. Cut just the cutscenes together and you'd have zero idea what that game was about.
Metal Gear 3 made up for it. Kojima must have heard the criticism, cos the cutscenes told the story. They were much better directed and the story itself was considerably tighter. It didn't center around the rather mediocre explanation for why you can't pick up everyone's guns (nanomachines).
And this is where Metal Gear 4's story falls apart. It's focused on a NES gameplay element. Only now there's ton's of PMCs and they (and the full US military) are staffed entirely by nanomachine enhanced humans with nanomachine tagged guns. Even their fucking battleships are nanoed up.
This all serves the story fine, but it sucks.
It sucks because by coming back to the present day, Kojima has gone back to excessively long dialoge sequences and tons of yammering about nanomachines and artificial intelligence.
I'm pissed because Metal Gear 3 was so good, and so on message. It's depictions of the arms race, of the concept of patriotism and the motivations for the villain of the original Metal Gear were all excellently told. MGS4 has some great points about private militaries, but they get lost in Liquid Ocelot's arbitrary goals and his obsession with a fucking server.
One thing the game does phenomenally is Old Snake. He's old, he's given up on life and just wants to get through this last mission. It's great to see and if I focus on it over the nanomachine bull I feel very positively about the game.
Raiden as well, is very interesting this time out. Meryl's okay and the Johnny guy I could do without completely, though it is nice to see how they tie him in to the whole story. The other two guys in Rat Patrol are forgetable, which is pretty sad when you think about how cool Foxhound and Cobra Unit were. Drebin is decent, his monkey's totally awesome. The detail in the character animations for everyone is dead nuts and shames all other games out there. The game does a lot of things well.
But I can't help but imagine what the game could have been if Kojima had decided to focus less on nanomachines and AI and more on actual people (who are not Old Snake).
3 stars.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
10 Things That Suck
Gorgeous Hair told me about the people who were lined up to get Halo at midnight. They had one assessment of everything: "Gears of War sucks", "Halo sucks", "Sony sucks".
In honor of many of the same lads now in line at stores around the country, waiting for the stroke of midnight, here are 10 things that suck in games.
1. Bow levels in Ninja Gaiden 2
2. the last boss in God of War 1. Plays like nothing else in the game. To quote Mitch Hedberg, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"
3. Open world game design
4. Button Mashing. While hitting the X button super fast is a skill, who cares? It' shitty.
5. The boobs in all Team Ninja games. With so much porn so easily available these days, why the complete ignorance of how breasts look and move?
6. Nazis as villians. Also tall lanky aliens with lots of eyes and large teeth. Did everyone go to the same villain design school?
7. Purple and Green color pallete (Too Human, Halo), like the above, it smacks of a certain person, a certain type of people that keep designing this shit. The kind of guys who think reading vampire novels aloud to women is sexy, and the kind of women who agree.
8. The Wii. I'm serious, have you played yours? Mine's a frigging Blazing Lazers emulator, and that's it.
9. The next hour and 20 minutes until I get my hands on Metal Gear Solid 4
10. My hangover.
In honor of many of the same lads now in line at stores around the country, waiting for the stroke of midnight, here are 10 things that suck in games.
1. Bow levels in Ninja Gaiden 2
2. the last boss in God of War 1. Plays like nothing else in the game. To quote Mitch Hedberg, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"
3. Open world game design
4. Button Mashing. While hitting the X button super fast is a skill, who cares? It' shitty.
5. The boobs in all Team Ninja games. With so much porn so easily available these days, why the complete ignorance of how breasts look and move?
6. Nazis as villians. Also tall lanky aliens with lots of eyes and large teeth. Did everyone go to the same villain design school?
7. Purple and Green color pallete (Too Human, Halo), like the above, it smacks of a certain person, a certain type of people that keep designing this shit. The kind of guys who think reading vampire novels aloud to women is sexy, and the kind of women who agree.
8. The Wii. I'm serious, have you played yours? Mine's a frigging Blazing Lazers emulator, and that's it.
9. The next hour and 20 minutes until I get my hands on Metal Gear Solid 4
10. My hangover.
Metal Gear Solid 3
Where do you go from a terrorist attack on NYC, gratuitous ball grabbing, incest, neverending radio conversations and not even being able to play as Solid Snake?
Into the past. 1964 to be specific.
Metal Gear 2 was good, but the bosses were a bit forgettable (and there were only like three of them) and it had numerous other issues.
I've always loved Metal Gear, so while I wasn't as excited about MGS3 as I was about part 2, I did get around to buying it, and eventually completing it. You see, as happened with Metal Gear 2, I got supremely frustrated right at the beginning of the game, only unlike MGS2, I stopped playing and went on to other shit. Months passed.
Matt had been playing it and told me it was sweet. I got back on the horse.
They had taken everything I thought I loved about Metal Gear (walking tanks, sci-fi storyline, the radar) and threw it away.
What I was left with ...was what I loved about Metal Gear.
To this day it still amazes me. It's like a Murakami novel. The dude writes about people doing errands for half the book and when you finish you think, "that book was awesome." The story takes place in the past (booring), the bosses are all dudes in camo (boooring) and you spend most of the game in a jungle looking for food (booring).
I've played through the entire game three times. I've gotten all the special camo patterns and shot all the frogs. It's one of my all time favorite games. It's in the running for deserted island scenario. The level of satisfaction I got out of the story and gameplay is comparable to a good book. The last game that blew me away as much was Ninja Gaiden 1. On the NES.
4 stars
Into the past. 1964 to be specific.
Metal Gear 2 was good, but the bosses were a bit forgettable (and there were only like three of them) and it had numerous other issues.
I've always loved Metal Gear, so while I wasn't as excited about MGS3 as I was about part 2, I did get around to buying it, and eventually completing it. You see, as happened with Metal Gear 2, I got supremely frustrated right at the beginning of the game, only unlike MGS2, I stopped playing and went on to other shit. Months passed.
Matt had been playing it and told me it was sweet. I got back on the horse.
They had taken everything I thought I loved about Metal Gear (walking tanks, sci-fi storyline, the radar) and threw it away.
What I was left with ...was what I loved about Metal Gear.
To this day it still amazes me. It's like a Murakami novel. The dude writes about people doing errands for half the book and when you finish you think, "that book was awesome." The story takes place in the past (booring), the bosses are all dudes in camo (boooring) and you spend most of the game in a jungle looking for food (booring).
I've played through the entire game three times. I've gotten all the special camo patterns and shot all the frogs. It's one of my all time favorite games. It's in the running for deserted island scenario. The level of satisfaction I got out of the story and gameplay is comparable to a good book. The last game that blew me away as much was Ninja Gaiden 1. On the NES.
4 stars
NES Ninja Gaiden
True story:
I had spent months to get to beat this game. I had levels 1-1 through 6-1 mastered. Getting past them was a nonissue. 6-2 was hell on earth, 6-3 wasn't as bad, but got completely nuts on the very last board. Beaten by the Masked Devil on 6-4, I was sent back to 6-1. This time, on 6-3 I got the JumpNSlash powerup (on the first board in the level) and kept it with great effort, so I could completely own the Masked Devil. And I did.
Then the Jaquio showed up. With my JumpNSlash taken from me, I died. Then, cos there was a big thunder storm that day, the power went out. To get back to where I was, I would have to go through the entire game again. Then my friend Adrian called.
He'd just beaten the game.
I saw the ending later that day when I went over to his house and had him beat it again. It was years until I did it myself.
Ninja Gaiden 1 is NES punishment. It's one of the most cheap, abusing games ever made. The problem with that is the controls were drum tight, and the cinema sequences (a first in games) told such a compelling tale that thousands of us 12 year olds would destroy ourselves trying to get to the end of it.
It took so much effort I still have parts of the game in my muscle memory.
4 stars
I had spent months to get to beat this game. I had levels 1-1 through 6-1 mastered. Getting past them was a nonissue. 6-2 was hell on earth, 6-3 wasn't as bad, but got completely nuts on the very last board. Beaten by the Masked Devil on 6-4, I was sent back to 6-1. This time, on 6-3 I got the JumpNSlash powerup (on the first board in the level) and kept it with great effort, so I could completely own the Masked Devil. And I did.
Then the Jaquio showed up. With my JumpNSlash taken from me, I died. Then, cos there was a big thunder storm that day, the power went out. To get back to where I was, I would have to go through the entire game again. Then my friend Adrian called.
He'd just beaten the game.
I saw the ending later that day when I went over to his house and had him beat it again. It was years until I did it myself.
Ninja Gaiden 1 is NES punishment. It's one of the most cheap, abusing games ever made. The problem with that is the controls were drum tight, and the cinema sequences (a first in games) told such a compelling tale that thousands of us 12 year olds would destroy ourselves trying to get to the end of it.
It took so much effort I still have parts of the game in my muscle memory.
4 stars
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Ninja Gaiden 2
A few notes for Team Ninja and Tomonobu Itagaki:
- More rockets = more annoyance. I was skeptical of people complaining of the rockets in this game, but they are really annoying. Fortunately I got past the last of them last night while I was super drunk (the secret was exploding shurikens).
- The bow is not fun. Ever. Since you have to charge your bow shots to have them do damage, using the bow requires standing about, aiming, waiting and getting hit a lot. Boring and annoying. Whereas the first game balanced it nicely (the tank battles come to mind) all bow sequences suck in this game. Extra bonus: the second to last guy is a bow battle.
- The environments are beatutiful.
- What's with the ninja diaries? Did I miss something interesting? Cos I don't think I did, also, reading blows.
- The lightning guy, with the sword, who looks like Kain from Final Fantasy 4, yeah, I beat him already, him and his "wait for him to do a combo or big move, then attack" pattern, back in the first game, at the end of the first level.
- That said, he's most interesting one to fight, everything else falling victim to a shitty camera and other gimmickry to make the fights hard. Boss of chapter 3 - the camera.
- I like wrecking werewolves
- things without human like shape (the snake bug creatures) aren't as fun cos i never know when I lop dem heads off.
- I'm all about loppin dem heads off.
- Arms too.
- Knock it off with the dick moves. The Landmines after the "Hogan's Alley" sequence, the armadillos that blow up and the lava mines after the 2nd fire fiend battle serve little purpose other than forcing you to redo (ahem, "enjoy again") some of the shittier parts of the game.
- a little less "loading"...."saving"....."Hit A to Proceed"...."loading"....etc... Dying takes like 30 seconds to get back in the action. MAJOR buzkill and probably, other than the magic rocketeers, is the most annoying thing about the game. Put me back in coach!
- Knock it off with the giant waggly tits.
so far (i'm on level 8 of 14) it's a 3 star game. It's more of the first, and that's good, and the carnage is good, the weapons are all tons of fun, but there's just little things that are piling up to a non-4star experience.
I'll re-star it when I beat it. (i'm playing it on the Acolyte mode, which is the easiest mode, cos i'm old and I want to beat it before MGS4 comes out cos we all know i'm not picking it up after that.)
Okay so I beat it (on Acolyte a.k.a "easy") and I think it's still 3 stars, but barely.
The combat is bliss, the boss battles are haphazard, with some feeling real good, some real bad but most feeling exactly the same (lightning fiend, fire fiend, blood lady fiend, lightning sword man and the last boss all play similarly), and the bow is complete crap.
Also the ending is short and stupid. Castlevania 1 has a better ending. NES Ninja Gaiden is in another universe.
While the fighting and melee weapons got improved in the game, nothing else did.
3 stars
- More rockets = more annoyance. I was skeptical of people complaining of the rockets in this game, but they are really annoying. Fortunately I got past the last of them last night while I was super drunk (the secret was exploding shurikens).
- The bow is not fun. Ever. Since you have to charge your bow shots to have them do damage, using the bow requires standing about, aiming, waiting and getting hit a lot. Boring and annoying. Whereas the first game balanced it nicely (the tank battles come to mind) all bow sequences suck in this game. Extra bonus: the second to last guy is a bow battle.
- The environments are beatutiful.
- What's with the ninja diaries? Did I miss something interesting? Cos I don't think I did, also, reading blows.
- The lightning guy, with the sword, who looks like Kain from Final Fantasy 4, yeah, I beat him already, him and his "wait for him to do a combo or big move, then attack" pattern, back in the first game, at the end of the first level.
- That said, he's most interesting one to fight, everything else falling victim to a shitty camera and other gimmickry to make the fights hard. Boss of chapter 3 - the camera.
- I like wrecking werewolves
- things without human like shape (the snake bug creatures) aren't as fun cos i never know when I lop dem heads off.
- I'm all about loppin dem heads off.
- Arms too.
- Knock it off with the dick moves. The Landmines after the "Hogan's Alley" sequence, the armadillos that blow up and the lava mines after the 2nd fire fiend battle serve little purpose other than forcing you to redo (ahem, "enjoy again") some of the shittier parts of the game.
- a little less "loading"...."saving"....."Hit A to Proceed"...."loading"....etc... Dying takes like 30 seconds to get back in the action. MAJOR buzkill and probably, other than the magic rocketeers, is the most annoying thing about the game. Put me back in coach!
- Knock it off with the giant waggly tits.
so far (i'm on level 8 of 14) it's a 3 star game. It's more of the first, and that's good, and the carnage is good, the weapons are all tons of fun, but there's just little things that are piling up to a non-4star experience.
I'll re-star it when I beat it. (i'm playing it on the Acolyte mode, which is the easiest mode, cos i'm old and I want to beat it before MGS4 comes out cos we all know i'm not picking it up after that.)
Okay so I beat it (on Acolyte a.k.a "easy") and I think it's still 3 stars, but barely.
The combat is bliss, the boss battles are haphazard, with some feeling real good, some real bad but most feeling exactly the same (lightning fiend, fire fiend, blood lady fiend, lightning sword man and the last boss all play similarly), and the bow is complete crap.
Also the ending is short and stupid. Castlevania 1 has a better ending. NES Ninja Gaiden is in another universe.
While the fighting and melee weapons got improved in the game, nothing else did.
3 stars
Monday, June 2, 2008
Ninja Gaiden (xbox)
There was this magical time a few years ago, when after having Devil May Cry as the only even remotely playable 3d action game, everyone, almost at once, got it.
The result was Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time, which I've only seen people play, God of War, which I already wrote about, and Ninja Gaiden.
PoP got platforming down way better, GoW was a good balance but fell into the Devil May Cry arena of hundreds of easy to kill dudes. Then there was Ninja Gaiden.
It took me two days to beat the first level.
Every new level seemed impossibly harder than the last one (except for the annoying swimming one), every new boss was barely beaten. Heck, even the regular enemies were an accomplishment to pass. Black Ninjas throwing exploding shurikens? Hello death upon death.
Then you get army dudes with rocket launchers, cumulating with you taking out two tanks and an attack helicopter in a row (WITH YOUR BOW!).
It's a game that never lets up, has no interest in helping you to the end. In short, it's the old game.
The NES game. While the two sequels got easier (though the NES NG3 in the US apparently was extra hard, i've only played the SNES 'port' and that one is easier), none ever got easy. If you die on the last boss, you go back to 6-1. Any kid who played that game likely can play though 6-1, 6-2 and 6-3 with their eyes closed.
The tradition of abuse continues, but unlike the old version which relied on glitch spawn points and arbitrary obstacles, the new one beats you down with skilled enemies.
After beating the game, I played through again. The one thing I noticed right away was how much better at it I was. Not even the rocket launching army men were giving me trouble.
Ninja Gaiden is a game that will teach you how to play it and force you to get good at it. In a time where you can fall asleep in front of the controller and accomplish tasks, it's nice to see.
4 stars.
The result was Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time, which I've only seen people play, God of War, which I already wrote about, and Ninja Gaiden.
PoP got platforming down way better, GoW was a good balance but fell into the Devil May Cry arena of hundreds of easy to kill dudes. Then there was Ninja Gaiden.
It took me two days to beat the first level.
Every new level seemed impossibly harder than the last one (except for the annoying swimming one), every new boss was barely beaten. Heck, even the regular enemies were an accomplishment to pass. Black Ninjas throwing exploding shurikens? Hello death upon death.
Then you get army dudes with rocket launchers, cumulating with you taking out two tanks and an attack helicopter in a row (WITH YOUR BOW!).
It's a game that never lets up, has no interest in helping you to the end. In short, it's the old game.
The NES game. While the two sequels got easier (though the NES NG3 in the US apparently was extra hard, i've only played the SNES 'port' and that one is easier), none ever got easy. If you die on the last boss, you go back to 6-1. Any kid who played that game likely can play though 6-1, 6-2 and 6-3 with their eyes closed.
The tradition of abuse continues, but unlike the old version which relied on glitch spawn points and arbitrary obstacles, the new one beats you down with skilled enemies.
After beating the game, I played through again. The one thing I noticed right away was how much better at it I was. Not even the rocket launching army men were giving me trouble.
Ninja Gaiden is a game that will teach you how to play it and force you to get good at it. In a time where you can fall asleep in front of the controller and accomplish tasks, it's nice to see.
4 stars.
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